It’s hard to even begin to find the words to explain all that I have felt the last two-three years. First things first, I want to say hello and a HUGE thank you to all of you! Thank you for sticking around and supporting me through this journey. What began as a little break took a strange turn into a complete break. It has been 9 months since I published my last post and I feel so sad that it took me this long to come on here and create.
I want to start off by saying that I am very grateful for this platform and all the blessings I have gotten from it. Lots of friendships, partnerships and unforgettable experiences. However, I have struggled with feeling “relevant” in a time where saturation, fear, and validation seem to be my biggest opposition. All of which are in my mind and I am guilty of letting them consume me. You see, I took the small teeny weenie thought of “Am I still relevant after all this time?” and let it consume me and left me feeling defeated. As if I wasn’t relevant enough in this blogging world full of other amazing talented people. I have been blogging since 2013 and I felt like I didn't know what direction I was heading. I was growing, I was changing and most importantly, I became a Christian. I gave my life to Christ in the midst of chaos and emotional whirlwinds.
Towards the end of 2016 I began to feel like I was in a room full of millions of people doing the same thing. As if I was on autopilot heading in the same direction for 3+ years. As much as I loved blogging and fashion, I was letting the enemy consume my thoughts and allowing them to make me feel less than. Around this time I still could not find a job and was so confused as to how I could grow a social media following/reach to almost 20k and could not land a job at an agency or with a company.
(I even posted about my struggles on instagram)
I spent so much time seeking validation that I thought a job title would give me that I lost myself and eventually realized I could never find it in a job title but in Jesus. I wasted so much time feeling like I wasn’t worthy that it actually affected me in more ways than I could imagine. My passion tank for blogging was running on empty. I was overthinking and feeling irrelevant. I was letting the enemy run away with my thoughts when all along God’s plan was greater than the plan I had for myself.
Fast Forward to February 2019 and I am in such a different place than I was in the last two-three years. I am working as a community manager for a magazine that delivers hope to incarcerated men and women. I am free from all the chains that were holding me down thought and creative wise. All this to say, God really did that. I was seeking validation in all the wrong places. A job title does not define who I am nor my social media presence/relevancy. I am qualified, I am worthy and I am relevant. All along I was strong enough but was oblivious.
Today, I am in such a different place and I am so grateful for these last few years. I am not going to sit here and say that my life is perfect because no one’s life is (no matter how perfect Instagram may portray It to be). But I am stronger now because I had to do a lot of soul searching and realize that what God has for me and my life is for me and no one can take that. His timing is perfect, His plan for my life is perfect and most importantly His love for me is perfect.
I know this was a lot to read and if you made it this far, you’re a real one! Thank you for taking the time to read something that has been on my heart for a long time. I almost feel like I have this newfound love for blogging and creating and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for this new chapter/journey.
Until next time,
Love, Jomy! Xx